I became aware of something today that I had not noticed before. I was wandering through the riverside woods for my usual early morning walk with Sofie, enjoying the peaceful quiet of the forest near my home. I was reflecting on how I have much less tendency to be hyper-vigilant when in the outdoors than I used to, more able just to relax and be present to the good stuff around me. This is due in no small part to having been through a pretty intense course of treatment for PTSD called Prolonged Exposure (immersion therapy) a few years ago, with the great skill and support of a VA psychologist. As you might imagine, I was grateful for the healing path and the continued growth that has developed in me since then. But I was also aware of a resurging feeling of tension, of apprehension, and of an expectation that something really bad was about to happen. So I asked myself, since there was no one there to talk to except Sofie, where is this coming from? If I’m not just reverting to my previous combat induced psychological states, why am I once again tense, focused, and preparing for the worst? Was I just being “triggered” back into my old survival defenses, or was this about something else? And then it dawned on me, the obvious source of my renewed vigilance that perhaps you are aware of in yourself: We really are under attack by an unseen, pervasive enemy that we currently have no viable defense against. You and I and those we love and the well-being of our country are at risk. Segments of our society are being overrun; others are facing dire circumstances without adequate supplies or reinforcements; the future is unsure and the outcome still unknown. So I thought through what being a veteran means in all this threat and loss, and I decided to pass on what I learned in case you might find it helpful.
Unlike many American citizens, we understand some things from our military training and experience that can help us all get through our pandemic time of trial. Whether or not you were ever deployed, in harm’s way, or in active combat, and no matter in which branch of our military you served, you learned some important skills and principles that are needed by our people. You have experience at taking on difficult tasks, on working with teammates to get the job done while trying to ensure everyone’s safety, and on doing your best without certainty of the outcome. You also learned that it’s not about Me, it’s about Us, and that our collective survival and victory depends on everyone doing their part, whether or not they are praised or publicly rewarded. We know what it is to be committed to the task and to each other, what it means to look out for the wounded and helpless, and how not to be overwhelmed by what might crumble others. We have each faced loneliness, fear, and uncertainty, and most of us are convinced that we would not have made it without each other. That’s what we know that we can bring to our people, to help them get through a long, dark night.
So here are some recommendations from Doc to help you help others when you can. First, make good decisions about helping to control the spread of the virus. Think about this as an infantry patrol analogy…..we don’t bunch up on patrol, especially when the threat of attack is imminent, but maintain a good distance in case of incoming or ambush. However, we don’t get too separated, either; keep visual contact with your troops. Yes, we have to limit contact with others (social distancing), but we should avoid isolation. It’s not good for us, and it’s no help to those who need us. Especially, reach out to those who might need to hear from you, even if it’s just to be supportive and encouraging. Second, do your best to be calm and reassuring, but avoid rationalizing or minimizing the severity of the situation. It is because we are able to name hard truth that we can be strong for our citizens. Two things are evident in this case: We cannot respond effectively to a threat we deny exists and great leaders in harm’s way do not panic or become hysterical. Third, take care of yourself so you can be useful in caring for your neighbor. This is no time to be drinking to excess, or to start smoking again, or using drugs to cope, or to be restlessly and aimlessly roaming the night. While those of us with PTSD symptoms are at greatest risk for “coping” in the wrong ways, it can happen to anyone. Now is a good time to check those behaviors, both for ourselves and for those who need us to be there for them. And finally, stay aware. Try to find news reporting that is factual and accurate so you will know what is happening in your state, in your country, and globally. Political infighting is part of our problem, and it’s not very beneficial to unit (or national) cohesion. Rather than debate whose fault it is, be a part of the solution by working with others to take care of our own neighborhoods, families, and community. Remember, the strength of character and commitment in the face of adversity that you gained through military service are much needed by the majority who are not veterans. When life is on the line, the calm wisdom of those who have been there can be a significant source of hope for our people.
As a rule, I tend not to tell war stories, except those that are funny or (like the following true story) seem to have a deeper meaning, even if I’m not sure what it is. Nearly fifty years ago I was flying over the tropical terrain of I Corps in Vietnam. It was pitch black on an emergency night medevac, headed out to who knows where (the pilots knew, thank goodness) in a Marine CH-46 to pick up wounded troops. I was the Doc in the Phrog. There were tracers searching for us from the ground, a little strobe in the bush as our landing light, and some on-going activity in a hot LZ. I was scared, because we didn’t know what we’d find on the ground or what might hit us as we left with our wounded Marines. We approached the LZ and began dropping from 3000 ft. to the perimeter the Marines had set up for us. I was staring out the open window looking to provide suppressing fire if needed. I was also singing old hymns to comfort myself, the kind my mom used to sing softly to herself in the evening while working around the house. The button to engage my helmet microphone was clipped to my flight jacket as usual, except that it had gotten flipped over and was pressed against my collar bone. Unbeknownst to me, I was being broadcast over the radio frequency linking our medevac flight to the ground units below. As I sang “Be Still My Soul”, someone in another aircraft asked “Who’s singing out there?”; the clear implication was that I should not have been. Someone on the ground responded, “Don’t stop him. We need all the help we can get down here.” I didn’t know exactly where I was or what was about to happen, but the situation was very dangerous. I knew that I could trust the crew and the Marine patrol on the ground. I knew that my help was needed, and I believed that it was worth the risk, whatever took place. I hope you get my intention in telling this story. Sometimes our efforts can be far more helpful than we realize, especially in dark and difficult times. Even if you (like me) are feeling the effects of ever-present danger, death, and facing the unknown, it is important to remember to sing (not literally, of course), even if it mostly helps our neighbors. Stay positive, stay connected, stay alert, and stay focused on the task at hand. Our country needs what we know and the strengths that we carry because we are veterans.